Thursday, April 21, 2005

Good Lord!

The reasons the demons wanted to rid limbo of Pope John Paul II have become painfully obvious.

He's a slob. Harsh, but true. This guy drinks out of the milk carton, never puts the toilet seat down, clogged up the shower drain with God only knows what. For lunch, I made us a tray of nachos and cheese, and the little bastard double dipped. As if all of that wasn't bad enough, when he thinks nobody is looking he picks his nose and wipes it on the furniture -- I'm a telepath, I know these things.

There is no way he's staying in my apartment. I'm sending this holy pain in the ass back to limbo first thing in the morning.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

My New Roommate

Needless to say, the demons of limbo were less than thrilled with me treating their dimension as my own personal landfill. But alas, a deal has been made! They said I may continue dumping my garbage in limbo in exchange for taking Pope John Paul II off of their hands. He's sitting in my living room right now, watching Law & Order.

I think this arrangement is more than fair. How much trouble can one little pope be?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Only For the Sake of Convenience, I Assure You

Did you know that a portal to limbo has practical uses? I opened one in my kitchen and have been throwing my garbage in it.